My Quest To Teach

October 12, 2016

Social Media Sex and Daughters

Social Media Sex and Daughters
by William Jackson, M.Ed.
Parent, Educator, Speaker
Community Activist  #MyQuestToTeach

“Fathers if you fail to teach your daughters
the value of their bodies, the awesome
mental capabilities that make them smart
creatives and thought leaders, helping your
daughters to understand their personal sexuality
and seeing their value based on their talents and
abilities not sex. If you fail to teach as fathers,
you may be committing a travesty with life-long
consequences.” William Jackson

As a parent, educator and heavily involved in
Social Media I see the elements of Social Media
Sexting, mental and sexual manipulation, sexual
bullying and self-destruction. Girls and women
must understand that just because you can post
hundreds of “selfies” and “sexties” does not
mean you do so.

Telling your story through your digital content should
come with the knowledge that people will see what
you create and judge you based on the creativity and
innovation you show. This creativity should be done
with wisdom, purpose and common sense.  Parents
make dangerous mistakes by letting their children
have free reign of the Internet without behavioral
expectations and rules. The World Wide Web
can be the Wild Wild West with content that can
range free either on the extreme Left or Right.

There are communities that are represented on
platforms that allow the diversity of the human
mind create places that are comforting and at
the same time can cause the soul to shiver.
Girls especially are attracted to the chance to
“show” themselves beyond their “personalities.”
#ShirleyChisholm
“I’ am, was always will be a catalyst for change”
but that change must be positive and productive.

This blog “Social Media Sex and Daughters” shares
the value of parenting when girls are young and
impressionable, they do not understand the value
to share that they are more than their bodies. There
is more to girls than a size, color, a shape, cleavage,
or how sexy they can look. Perceptions are dangerous
in the digital age. Fathers must be sure to teach their
daughters the “tricks” of the game boys will use to get
into their daughters __________.

A father has a responsibility not to scare their daughters,
but to educate them on sex and sexuality. Mothers count,
but they are not men.  Daughters cannot afford to learn
from their friends either boys or girls to protect their
“pocketbooks” as the senior women like to reference.
What is private, is private and should be protected….

Social Media provides wonderful networking, and
communication opportunities, girls and women are
participating in coding – Black Girls Code, learning
how to use tech to be entrepreneurs while attending
conferences like Blogging While Brown, networking
in groups like Black Girls Rock, learning socialization
skills in groups like  Girls Inc, Journey Into Womanhood
Empowerment Resources (Jacksonville, Florida) and
Black Girls Book Club.

The online development of collaboration and connectivity
grows to help girls grow cognitively and raise their
self-esteems and self-respect. No longer do girls and
women say tech is just for boys and men, girls
and women are coding, creating dynamic content,
writing books, managing publishing companies. Girls
are thought leaders, and entrepreneurs, Black girls
can proudly claim their BLERD and Geek profiles.
African girls and women are growing into AfiBlerds
and AfriGeeks proudly earning degrees, they are
owning businesses like Anie Akpe, CEO/Publisher
of http://innov8tiv.com/

My Black Matters ‏@MyBlackMatters “All Black girls
matter whether they’re dark skin, light skin, brown
skin, mixed, hood, nerdy, preppy, loud, quiet or ratchet.”

Business opportunities are increasing so girls and
women should not focus on their body image they
should focus on their Brand and the Marketing aspects.
Women are networking, they are serving on boards,
in committees, forming nonprofits, and educational
initiatives.
Their Brands are worth more than gold, it is the
foundation of their existence and should always be
treated respectfully.
Girls like Jacksonville’s Taylor Richardson and
Natalie McGriff and others are inspiring other
girls to grasp hold of their dreams and grow wings
to fly beyond societal limitations and
exceed expectations no matter color and culture.

nat and taylor 2

Fathers must have those conversations about
pride, hard work, dignity, trust, ethics, morals
and values. Parents must monitor their daughter’s
online activities, not out of fear, but to preserve
reputations and the developing Brands of the
future. It must be taught that, ”sex is a
temporary physical manifestation of temporary
pleasure that if unchecked can be dangerous and
self-destructive.”

Social Media is shaping the way girls and women
are viewing themselves and interacting with
each other. “There are generations coming up
that will not know a time without being connected.
” William Jackson, Edward Waters College 2016

20160611_132716
Advertisers know this and will market “sexulization
of girls” through advertising. Talking about sex
and sexuality should be a discussion not a scare
tactic. Parents should share
the reality of pornography, it is not the sensual
event of dreams; it can be violent, degrading and
demeaning.
Girls and women will not get cultural and educational
validation by having multiple sexual partners. The
marketing aspect too look hot, be popular, risque,
sexy, vulnerable/aggressive, girls of color and
culture are not presented in positive situations
when it comes to sex like their white counterparts.

Parents of all colors and culture start early and
have conversations so girls feel comfortable,
confident in who they are and where
they are going in life. Parents talk to your daughters
as they mature, have honest and tough discussions.
Before any girl or young woman gets into bed with
anyone, even in alternative lifestyle’s they need
to get into that persons head first to make sure
they are not making a mistake that will curse them
through adult life.
A girl’s reputation can be destroyed with a single
video, a single picture posted online and even a flash
of experimentation. Put your value ahead of being
popular, being seen as sexy and been just seen as
who you are and what your aspiring to be.

Girls are growing into not just Black Girl Magic or
Women Magic, but Awesome Women of Magic.

girl-magic
Black Girl Magic and Women Magic Resources:
Jalesa Ann @jalesaann
Anie Akpe @AnieAkpe
Fran Siracusa @ProfeEdTech
Melanin Mamis @melaninmamis
#EduMatch @edu_match
Michelle @Michell49246814
Ashley Hill @prepforcollege
#EdWalk 4 CFE @zansari8
Black Girl Nerds @BlackGirlNerds
Black Girls Book Club @bg_bookclub
Bess Auer @Bess_Auer
Sarah Thomas @sarahdateechur
Rusul الربيعي @RusulAlrubail
Barbara KV Johnson @DrBKVJ
Rachel Vitti @rachelvitti
Tara Reed @TaraReed_
Jennifer Williams @JenWilliamsEdu
Black Girl Nerds @BlackGirlNerds
Valerie Lewis @iamvlewis
Jedidah Isler, PhD @JedidahIslerPhD
Gina Humber @ghumber720
Melissa Ross @MelissainJax
Ale’ta Turner @AletaTurner
Sherry Smith Gray @sherisaid
Soumya @SoumyaNukala
Deena Pierott @deenapierott
SocaMom® @SocaMomDC
Empowerment Resources @EmpowermentJax
Ronique Gibson @stagetecture
Coach Jeanna Brown @CoachJeanna
Hey Black Girl @Hey_BlackGirl
PASSION4CHRIST @p4cToyaG
Mickee Brown @MickeeBrown
Black Bloggers Connect @JoinBBC
My Black Matters ‏@MyBlackMatters
Danyelle Little @TheCubicleChick
Asktnd @asktnd
FLBlogCon @FLBlogCon
Ivy Box™ @MsIvyBox
Blogging Black Miami @blogblackmiami
Brown Girls Unite @BGU_Official
Tracee Ellis Ross @TraceeEllisRoss
Marcie Hill @Marcie_Hill
Sheena White @sheenamwhite
Sea World Mommy @SeaWorldMommy
Sili @MyMamihood
Blogger Week @BloggerWeek
African Women In Tech @AfricanWIT

dad and shae
My daughter and I years ago in Palatka, Florida

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September 12, 2016

Fatherhood from the First Day of School

Fatherhood from the First Day of School To The Last
William Jackson, M.Ed.
Educator of 27 years, Teacher of the Year,
Instructor with Edward Waters College
Parent of 2 college students

William and Sean

William and Sean


Each school year is an opportunity to begin anew not just for
kid, but for parents as well. To start off on a great foundation of
learning and discovery. It is also another opportunity to encourage
fathers, grandfathers, uncles, stepfathers and surrogate fathers to
mentor and volunteer in schools.
Fathers must understand they do have an impact in schools and
the need to be involved and engaged.
To be involved in making their children’s lives a better opportunity
to grow and to be better than their parents.
Fathers have to understand they leave a legacy with their children.

Nationally through the Million Father March the first day of school
is important to set the foundation for a academic year of 180 days
for learning. To improve reading and develop comprehension. To
celebrate the creatives, the innovators, the intellectuals and the
students that are not athletes nor are they entertainers. They are
the “smart” kids that sometimes to do not get recognized,
they do not get noticed and sometimes even picked on and bullied.

A father presence can stop bullying, they can stop harassment,
they can build self-esteem and self-confidence. In this mission
fathers are key to motivating, encouraging, and making learning
exciting and even protecting and guiding their and other kids.

No matter the educational level of the father, data shows how
important fathers are. Dads, stepdads and male figures
do account for success in the classroom and school environment.
Not to mention active fathers improve communities.

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School districts if they are not should accept
fathers and use them as a motivational tool
and role models to help students see other
options in careers and success.
In many school districts fathers are welcomed
and encouraged to attend PTA meetings,
join School Advisory Councils and even
encouraged to attend school board meetings
contributing in school improvement discussions.
Fathers have a different perspective and need
to be used for their wisdom and knowledge.

Men don’t let a potential background issues
keep you from registering to volunteer for
your child’s educational success. Children need
the support and value that men show for education.

dad and shae
My daughter and I when she was in elementary
school, I visited her school once a month with
my son and daughter.
Took off work and made that sacrifice. Still
picked up my son and daughter every other weekend.
It was not easy and many miles of travel.

Support should not be just on the first day,
it should be every day, every week and every
month. What would happen if parents decided
they do not want to be parents for a week or
a month. That is the case in some situations
in schools.

Many schools started after the Labor Day
weekend. Fathers should know their children’s
teachers, the Principal, Vice Principal, who
the Guidance Counselor is.
Father should know or have a copy of the lunch
schedule and even locked in their phones
the schools number.
Fathers should know what the school start time
and end time is as well so they can pickup their
kids or be able to attend parent / teacher
conferences.

Tag yourself through the year in the hashtag
#BackToSchool, #MillionFatherMarch on Twitter,
Facebook and other Social Media platforms to
show your support and involvement in the
schools this year in your community and in your city.

Keep  up to date on school events and activities,
stay connected and engaged.

Everyone wins and everyone benefits when
fathers and concerned men are part of the
educational process for children.

All fathers have a responsibility to be engaged and active in their
communities. You never know who you influence and how you can
help children grow. #MyQuestToTeach

Resources:

The Alphabet of Fatherhood
http://thyblackman.com/2016/09/03/the-alphabet-of-fatherhood-can-be-awesome/

The role of being a father
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTdmfBeWlKU

Change the Discussion on Black Fathers
http://www.quirkybrownlove.com/2015/05/change-discussion-on-black-fathers.html

GetConnectDAD @GetConnectDad

Dad 2.0 Summit @dad2summit

Daddydaddydaddy @daddydaddydadus

Melanin Bloggers @MelaninBloggers

The Father Effect @thefathereffect

Dad Summit
https://twitter.com/dad2summit

New Fathers Chronicles on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZoaoWgTo61BNTquePdHGu

 

September 7, 2016

The Alphabet of Fatherhood Can Be Awesome

The Alphabet of Fatherhood Can Be Awesome
by William Jackson, M. Ed.
Parent, Educator, Blogger,
Speaker, Community Activist
@wmjackson Edward Waters College

A Fathers Role

A Fathers Role

Suggestions for new dads and dads that need to
be re-energized to their responsibility as fathers.

Fathers need to take advantage of community
resources for several reasons: children need to
be exposed to diverse learning opportunities
like libraries, museums and cultural events.
The language engagement between fathers and
children is important, it helps build vocabulary
and encourages questioning and
increases observation.

Children need to feel comfortable asking their
parents questions, their opinions to understand
they have value and their curiosity is encouraged.
Mothers are not the only ones that build a bond
with children, a fathers bond is just as important
and significant. Fathers should never doubt they
are important and valuable. Never allow anyone
to demean your importance and significance in
your child’s life. You are part of the creative
process for life.

A. Fact – fathers spend about 45% playing
while moms only spend 15-20%.
B. Dads should help in getting the kids
ready for the day. Create a unique routine
that kids look forward to. This will make
getting ready less stressful.

C. Dads should learn about their child’s
development so they better understand
when to “teach” certain skills. Playing
catch, tying shoes and other things are a
process that is taught according to the
developmentally able child. Children learn
differently so don’t compare your kid to
others even their siblings.
D. Fathers should have time to read to
their children. Dads can make a special
language and storytelling trip for their
children. A dad’s voice is security and
comfort to the child.

E. Dads should make special trips to book
stories, libraries and museums. Make
learning unique and fun. Dads can plan
field trips during the weekends and
holidays.
F. Dads need to know their children’s
interests as they mature. Learning as
much as possible about their children
and not allowing mom’s to do and
know everything. Brake the mindset
that dads are less important.

G. Dads should know what foods their
kids like. Take them to the store and
shop with them. Make sure they
communicate with you about their
likes and dislikes. Their “tastes” will
change as they age and mature.
H. Dads need to be familiar with their
children’s sleep patterns. Give mom
a break and help to keep sleep time,
nap time consistent.

I. Dads need to spend time with their
newborns. A dads smell, voice and
hugs need to be comforting to newborns.
J. Dads need to understand that the first
months of a newborns life are key to
bonding with their parents. Dads should
plan ahead to take paternity leave if
possible, use vacation time or other
options to stay home and help mom
and child adjust to the new world.

K. Dads need to learn their child’s
behaviors and their developing personality.
What activities make the newborn, toddler
or growing child laugh, happy, sad, scared,
excited, etc.
L. Dads need to be a part of the educational
and developmental process of their children.
Mothers have careers and fathers need to
respect the fact that mom’s love their children,
but may want to continue their careers.

M. When the child is school aged dads need
to be there every step of the way. Teachers,
administrators, and other school personnel need
to know that children have two parents even if they
are not in the same home.
N. Children need to see their parents working, they
need to see their parents communicating and being
active. Too many times parents “hide” their emotions
which causes confusion in children.

O. Dads and moms need to monitor television
watching. There are so many suggestions and innuendos
that will cause confusion and doubt in girls and boys
about their bodies, culture, skin care, height, weight
and other physical attributes. Parents are the first line
of knowledge that builds self-esteem and self-respect.
P. A fathers words can bring life and death to their
children.
Fathers should be careful what they say to their children
and how they say it, even how they talk about their mother
and other family members

Q. Fathers should be listeners first and fixers second.
Fathers are instinctively fixers of problems for their
children and families.
The important part is fathers should listen first to get
all the information needed and involve their children
in the fixing process. Fathers take the opportunity to
include their children if old enough to fix any problems
that are teachable moments.
R. Dads should not be scared to “play” with their children.
When the opportunity comes play is beneficial, it can
build confidence, trust, love, respect and solidify a
relationship.

S. “Know Thy Self” dads should know their maturity,
their strengths and weaknesses. Understand what
drives you and moves you. “Before you start raising
children look at your foundation.”
Nishan Nicks (Fresh World Ministries)
T. Communication is important between parents,
moms and dads need to be open and honest when
talking about parental responsibilities. They both must
understand that their children are living and growing
human beings and will develop their own personality.
They will not stay the same forever and time
does fly by when you have children.

U. Fathers take care of your bodies, your minds
and your spirit. You are responsible for more
than yourself. Visit the doctors regularly and
change your eating habits and late night activities.
V. Fathers plan for the future. Plan for your
retirement, your kid’s educational future, the growth
of the family.
Take into account a potential career change for
yourself. Money is not the only cause for a job or
career change. Support your spouses or partners
desire to improve their education and career as well.

W. Plan vacations that are active and engaging.
Be sure to plan how to pack and if the destinations
are kid friendly. Plan to make sure the trip is beneficial
for your kids and the family not just you.
X. Treat your spouse or partner to some personal time.
Allow them to grow outside of parenthood to refresh
their spirit and mind.

Y. Don’t forget the grandparents in visits and trips, they
can be a partnership also.
Z. Be a parent, not a buddy. As your child grows so
will you and you must modify your parenting discipline,
language, expectations. There are no “perfect” parents.
You will make mistakes. Just do your best and learn
as you go.

Resources:
The Father Effect @thefathereffect

GetConnectDAD @GetConnectDad

Dad 2.0 Summit @dad2summit

Daddydaddydaddy @daddydaddydadus

Melanin Bloggers @MelaninBloggers

Roland Martin and T.D. Jakes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEXpdvR1Dqw

Dad Summit https://twitter.com/dad2summit

Born Learning http://BornLearning.org

The role of being a father with Roland Martin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTdmfBeWlKU

Change the Discussion on Black Fathers
http://www.quirkybrownlove.com/2015/05/change-discussion-on-black-fathers.html

Summit Schedule for Dads 2.0 Conference
http://www.dad2summit.com/schedule2017/

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