My Quest To Teach

October 12, 2016

Social Media Sex and Daughters

Social Media Sex and Daughters
by William Jackson, M.Ed.
Parent, Educator, Speaker
Community Activist  #MyQuestToTeach

“Fathers if you fail to teach your daughters
the value of their bodies, the awesome
mental capabilities that make them smart
creatives and thought leaders, helping your
daughters to understand their personal sexuality
and seeing their value based on their talents and
abilities not sex. If you fail to teach as fathers,
you may be committing a travesty with life-long
consequences.” William Jackson

As a parent, educator and heavily involved in
Social Media I see the elements of Social Media
Sexting, mental and sexual manipulation, sexual
bullying and self-destruction. Girls and women
must understand that just because you can post
hundreds of “selfies” and “sexties” does not
mean you do so.

Telling your story through your digital content should
come with the knowledge that people will see what
you create and judge you based on the creativity and
innovation you show. This creativity should be done
with wisdom, purpose and common sense.  Parents
make dangerous mistakes by letting their children
have free reign of the Internet without behavioral
expectations and rules. The World Wide Web
can be the Wild Wild West with content that can
range free either on the extreme Left or Right.

There are communities that are represented on
platforms that allow the diversity of the human
mind create places that are comforting and at
the same time can cause the soul to shiver.
Girls especially are attracted to the chance to
“show” themselves beyond their “personalities.”
#ShirleyChisholm
“I’ am, was always will be a catalyst for change”
but that change must be positive and productive.

This blog “Social Media Sex and Daughters” shares
the value of parenting when girls are young and
impressionable, they do not understand the value
to share that they are more than their bodies. There
is more to girls than a size, color, a shape, cleavage,
or how sexy they can look. Perceptions are dangerous
in the digital age. Fathers must be sure to teach their
daughters the “tricks” of the game boys will use to get
into their daughters __________.

A father has a responsibility not to scare their daughters,
but to educate them on sex and sexuality. Mothers count,
but they are not men.  Daughters cannot afford to learn
from their friends either boys or girls to protect their
“pocketbooks” as the senior women like to reference.
What is private, is private and should be protected….

Social Media provides wonderful networking, and
communication opportunities, girls and women are
participating in coding – Black Girls Code, learning
how to use tech to be entrepreneurs while attending
conferences like Blogging While Brown, networking
in groups like Black Girls Rock, learning socialization
skills in groups like  Girls Inc, Journey Into Womanhood
Empowerment Resources (Jacksonville, Florida) and
Black Girls Book Club.

The online development of collaboration and connectivity
grows to help girls grow cognitively and raise their
self-esteems and self-respect. No longer do girls and
women say tech is just for boys and men, girls
and women are coding, creating dynamic content,
writing books, managing publishing companies. Girls
are thought leaders, and entrepreneurs, Black girls
can proudly claim their BLERD and Geek profiles.
African girls and women are growing into AfiBlerds
and AfriGeeks proudly earning degrees, they are
owning businesses like Anie Akpe, CEO/Publisher
of http://innov8tiv.com/

My Black Matters ‏@MyBlackMatters “All Black girls
matter whether they’re dark skin, light skin, brown
skin, mixed, hood, nerdy, preppy, loud, quiet or ratchet.”

Business opportunities are increasing so girls and
women should not focus on their body image they
should focus on their Brand and the Marketing aspects.
Women are networking, they are serving on boards,
in committees, forming nonprofits, and educational
initiatives.
Their Brands are worth more than gold, it is the
foundation of their existence and should always be
treated respectfully.
Girls like Jacksonville’s Taylor Richardson and
Natalie McGriff and others are inspiring other
girls to grasp hold of their dreams and grow wings
to fly beyond societal limitations and
exceed expectations no matter color and culture.

nat and taylor 2

Fathers must have those conversations about
pride, hard work, dignity, trust, ethics, morals
and values. Parents must monitor their daughter’s
online activities, not out of fear, but to preserve
reputations and the developing Brands of the
future. It must be taught that, ”sex is a
temporary physical manifestation of temporary
pleasure that if unchecked can be dangerous and
self-destructive.”

Social Media is shaping the way girls and women
are viewing themselves and interacting with
each other. “There are generations coming up
that will not know a time without being connected.
” William Jackson, Edward Waters College 2016

20160611_132716
Advertisers know this and will market “sexulization
of girls” through advertising. Talking about sex
and sexuality should be a discussion not a scare
tactic. Parents should share
the reality of pornography, it is not the sensual
event of dreams; it can be violent, degrading and
demeaning.
Girls and women will not get cultural and educational
validation by having multiple sexual partners. The
marketing aspect too look hot, be popular, risque,
sexy, vulnerable/aggressive, girls of color and
culture are not presented in positive situations
when it comes to sex like their white counterparts.

Parents of all colors and culture start early and
have conversations so girls feel comfortable,
confident in who they are and where
they are going in life. Parents talk to your daughters
as they mature, have honest and tough discussions.
Before any girl or young woman gets into bed with
anyone, even in alternative lifestyle’s they need
to get into that persons head first to make sure
they are not making a mistake that will curse them
through adult life.
A girl’s reputation can be destroyed with a single
video, a single picture posted online and even a flash
of experimentation. Put your value ahead of being
popular, being seen as sexy and been just seen as
who you are and what your aspiring to be.

Girls are growing into not just Black Girl Magic or
Women Magic, but Awesome Women of Magic.

girl-magic
Black Girl Magic and Women Magic Resources:
Jalesa Ann @jalesaann
Anie Akpe @AnieAkpe
Fran Siracusa @ProfeEdTech
Melanin Mamis @melaninmamis
#EduMatch @edu_match
Michelle @Michell49246814
Ashley Hill @prepforcollege
#EdWalk 4 CFE @zansari8
Black Girl Nerds @BlackGirlNerds
Black Girls Book Club @bg_bookclub
Bess Auer @Bess_Auer
Sarah Thomas @sarahdateechur
Rusul الربيعي @RusulAlrubail
Barbara KV Johnson @DrBKVJ
Rachel Vitti @rachelvitti
Tara Reed @TaraReed_
Jennifer Williams @JenWilliamsEdu
Black Girl Nerds @BlackGirlNerds
Valerie Lewis @iamvlewis
Jedidah Isler, PhD @JedidahIslerPhD
Gina Humber @ghumber720
Melissa Ross @MelissainJax
Ale’ta Turner @AletaTurner
Sherry Smith Gray @sherisaid
Soumya @SoumyaNukala
Deena Pierott @deenapierott
SocaMom® @SocaMomDC
Empowerment Resources @EmpowermentJax
Ronique Gibson @stagetecture
Coach Jeanna Brown @CoachJeanna
Hey Black Girl @Hey_BlackGirl
PASSION4CHRIST @p4cToyaG
Mickee Brown @MickeeBrown
Black Bloggers Connect @JoinBBC
My Black Matters ‏@MyBlackMatters
Danyelle Little @TheCubicleChick
Asktnd @asktnd
FLBlogCon @FLBlogCon
Ivy Box™ @MsIvyBox
Blogging Black Miami @blogblackmiami
Brown Girls Unite @BGU_Official
Tracee Ellis Ross @TraceeEllisRoss
Marcie Hill @Marcie_Hill
Sheena White @sheenamwhite
Sea World Mommy @SeaWorldMommy
Sili @MyMamihood
Blogger Week @BloggerWeek
African Women In Tech @AfricanWIT

dad and shae
My daughter and I years ago in Palatka, Florida

September 22, 2016

“Fishers of Men” presents:”A Man and His Money”

Fishers of Men presents……”A Man and His Money”

A unique opportunity for men, fathers, grandfathers,
stepfathers, uncles and men of all backgrounds
to share ideas and support being a man in this century.

Open to all men to attend and contribute. 

When:    Friday, September 23, 2016
Time:     6pm – 8pm
Where:  World Financial Group
              8081 Phillips Hwy Suite #22
(near Baymeadows and Phillips Hwy)
              Jacksonville, Florida

**Appetizers will be provided**
For more information contact
Alvin King
Email: fom4ever@gmail.com

DADS TAKE YOUR CHILD TO SCHOOL DAY
September 28th 2016
The Florida Department of Education
has launched a new statewide initiative:
Dads Take  Your Child To School Day!!

As part of this initiative, we would like
to encourage dads and/or other male
role models to get involved in their
children’s education by bringing
their child to school on Wednesday,
September 28th 2016
and remaining involved throughout
the school year.

For more information, contact the
Department of Family and Community
Engagement at 904 390-2960.

dad and shae
My daughter and I years ago, still magical
and memorable.

New blog – “The Alphabet of Fatherhood Can Be 
Awesome”
http://www.hypeorlando.com/my-quest-swag/2016/09/07/the-alphabet-of-fatherhood-can-be-awesome/

June 16, 2016

A Spiritual Guide for Fathers Raising Children Part II

A Spiritual Guide for Fathers Raising Children Part II

images

In the spirit of fatherhood, unity and solidarity for parenting,
suggestions  for fathers to be better fathers.

1. Fathers, as children grow they become less dependent
on parents, starting to make decisions for themselves,
men/fathers must stay active as models and advisors.
Often just listening and being patient providing support
and encouragement is what children need as they mature.

2. Fathers, during adolescence and teen years there is a
minimal tendency to ask parents for their opinions, it is
important to ask questions and openly communicate
not criticize. Fathers are prone to be impatient, learn
to wait and guide talks not force them.

3. Fathers, be direct with your decisions and be Fair,
a “No” means “No”. You send conflicting signals when
you change your mind and don’t backup your words
with loving and consistent direction and decisions.

4. Fathers , teens speak in different languages,
don’t be surprised to hear, “Everyone else is doing it”
or “There parents are cool” or “I wish you were like
such and such parents”. Fathers should not be angry
with their children, remember they just want their
way just like we did at their age or still do now.
Learn your children’s language so you can
communicate better.

5. Fathers, parents must stand united. Not trying
to be your children’s friend. Don’t let your child
pit you and your spouse or girl-friend, partner
against each other.
Always be in accord with your children’s decisions.
It is harder for step-parents and those not married,
both need to work hard to keep peace and unity.
Communication is important, it is not about
winning, it is about solidarity and
what is best for the children.

6. Fathers, don’t argue with your children. You
are the parent, the adult, not their equal or
their peer. Remember who is in accountable.
Fathers must at times be firm and unmovable
in their decisions, but show love and wisdom
in their decisions.

7. Fathers, try to initiate a discussion and not
interrogate, use opportunities to talk about
everyday things, how was their school day,
how are their friends, what has
been on their minds. Being proactive is better
than reactive.

8. Fathers should be positive, think positive
and reinforce good behavior and always be in
prayer. Setting realistic and positive expectations
for their children and helping them to make
good decisions.

9. Fathers, remember we all make mistakes.
Children learn by their experiences and
mistakes. Fathers at times need to “tell stories”
to relate information.
Bill Cosby was very effective in doing this.
Men can guide and make suggestions
or provide solutions through stories. Jesus
used parables and our elders
told stories that share ideas and explain relationships.

10. Fathers should not be scared to admit
they make mistakes and apologize for them.
If you want your sons to “man up” you need
to “man up” too.

11. Mothers sometimes need to back off if they
want the father to be consistent.
Remember a nagging woman can kill a spirit
and create dissension in the spirit
of the man and their sons. Nothing spoils trust
faster than embarrassing or going
against a fathers decisions or criticizing the
father in front of the children.

12. Fathers should Pray and not Faint. Have a
mentor that is in-line with God’s Word.
Your mentor does not have to agree with you
all the time, they should be honest all the time.

13. Fathers, attend Church, Bible Study, Prayer
Breakfasts, etc. as a family or
with dad. There are many churches that invite
dads and their children. Fathers
take advantage of this and get involved.

14. Fathers,, have family time at least once a week.

15. Mothers need to pray for their children’s
father even if they are not in the home.
A praying mother is powerful and purposeful
in strengthening her family and
creating calm and peace. A woman that has
a serpents tongue creates chaos,
confusion and division. .

16. Fathers be patient and discipline with
love not anger. Remember how you
were at your children’s and guide your
discipline with peaceful wisdom,
.calm demeanor and a listening ear.

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William Jackson, M.Ed. can be reached at the
following email address:
William.Jackson@ewc.edu     on Twitter @wmjackson

Fatherhood Inspirational Video via @wmjackson #MyQuestToTeach
https://youtu.be/goWvUjFnBBI

GetConnectedDad online resources
@GetConnectDad

Great resource for fathers online
https://getconnectdad.com/2016/06/04/52-traits-we-want-in-our-kids-2/

National Fatherhood Initiative
http://facebook.com/nationalfatherhoodiniative
Twitter @thefatherfactor

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