My Quest To Teach

November 4, 2016

The Humanity of Fatherhood

The Humanity of Fatherhood
William Jackson, M.Edu
Edward Waters College
@wmjackson #MyQuestToTeach

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Chinua Achebe, “We cannot trample upon
the humanity of others without devaluing our
own.” The Igbo, always practical, put it
concretely in their proverb:
Onye ji onye n’ani ji onwe ya:
“He who will hold another down in the mud
must stay in the mud to keep him down.”
The Education of a British-Protected Child: Essays

“Fathers, it is time to lift our children, our families,
our culture, our communities from the mud
of poverty, death and destruction.”
William Jackson – My Quest To Teach

Watching the media and the continued deaths
of young men and young women, fathers have
a choice to be a blessing or a curse to their
children, to embed humanity into their process
of raising their families. To lead them to a life
of safety and growth or condemn them to
potential sentences of poverty, lack of
educational success and a societal voice of
silence.

Fathers are supposed to be the foundation,
the rock that their families can stand on during
the storms of life and the challenges that they
will face. The national deaths by violence of
children of color and culture are a signal that
too many fathers are not doing their jobs,
importantly too many men are not parenting,
fathering, guiding and mentoring. Too many
are talking, their lips are moving, but their feet
and hearts are standing still. There is work to
do in their communities, but too many fathers
are counterproductive and adding to the
troubles their communities are facing.

 

 

 

Fathers are influential in the social and
educational directions of their children, they set
the tones for social interaction, establishing the
direction of their children and others around
them, growing and developing the social skills
and humbleness that boys and girls developing
into men and women will need. Children are
modeling their father’s activities, mentalities,
their lack of compassion and lack of sensitivities
to their children. The father is the model whether
at home or not, looking at the communities of
color and culture too many fathers are not
involved or do not care.

Social skills are not just necessary social requirements;
they are the patterns of behaviors for survival that boys
and girls of color and culture will need to know in order
to grow in a society that is still struggling with boys and
girls of diversity and color. The directions of life take
many twists and turns for youth especially African
American youth, this is NOT another hate the system
or hate the government blog, nor is it a blog on what
the educational system is not accomplishing.

This blog addresses the responsibilities of “Men in
the Village” to re-evaluate and re-prioritize their thinking
and to be of service to their communities.
The great Nigerian author Chinua Achebe through his
writings tries to teach men that positive emotions to
their children are beneficial and “do not
fear being
thought weak as a man” because men show emotions,
they should to establish a connection with their families.

Men have a right that extends to the accountability and
responsibility to be involved in their children’s educational
growth and development. How can hundreds if not
thousands of men attend sporting events in support
of their children, but cannot consistently volunteer, visit,
mentor, support their children’s schools that are preparing
them for life in this nation?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Achebe shares, “(fathers) do not show any human emotions
and sentiments so as not to be seen as weak,” are creating
un-caring societies where children are forgetting the value
of love, compassion, sympathy and honor. Men do not have
to cry to show emotions, but should hug and kiss their children,
hold their hands and provide emotional support and
mental comfort just as African men have done for centuries.
How many men can blame the State Attorney’s Office
and law enforcement if they won’t “man up” handling
their “business” and parental responsibilities in raising
their children? Prisons are not Day Cares, Learning
Centers, Enrichment Organizations; how many men can
blame the school district if they have not started the
process of educating their children in the basics of
reading, math and social behaviors at home that allow
for education in a formal setting to start. Learning
starts at home and fathers need to be responsible
for this happening.

The streets, back alleys, street corners and clubs of
our communities will teach skills that will lead to
death or prison as seen in children today, what real
father can be proud of that?

Fathers need to be involved in a dialogue that teaches
with love and wisdom, young fathers
need help. Children should be seen holding their
fathers hands, sitting on their laps and involved in
activities that build critical thinking skills, encourage
problem solving abilities and promote higher order
thinking that creates language development, increased
vocabulary and appreciation for being intelligent.

“People say that if you find water rising up to your ankle,
that’s the time to do something about it, not when it’s
around your neck.” Chinua Achebe
African American communities are finding crime and
death inching around their necks, they should do
something positive about it to make a change in their
communities. When “not snitching” is more important
than a child’s life that was taken by a bullet is the priority
the humanity has been taken away. Human life is not
valued and is less than that of an animal.
Because of continuous generational tragedies young
people of color are thereby increasing their likelihood
of entering correctional facilities, and if daddy is not
there who do kids model except who they see on the
street or movies?

To keep children of color and culture from entering
into the “pipeline” prevention and pro-action is needed.
Fathers are an important part of this effort, fathers need
to be trained and encouraged. Ronnie Cage, community
activist and national trainer for fathers and fathering skills
has encouraged fathers need training to be fathers for
years.
Parenting is a powerful force; parents have a spiritual
connection to their children and a responsibility to raise
them. Research from the University of Maryland (2000)
indicates that, “children who have fathers or father figures
in their lives learn better, have higher self-esteem and
show fewer signs of depression and aggression.”
“…children who identified a father or father figure
scored higher on basic learning skill tests and had
a stronger sense of competence and social acceptance
compared to children without fathers”
(University of Maryland Medical News, 2000).

Fact “Black males represent six percent of the U.S.
population, yet 35 percent
of the prison population and less than two percent
of teachers” Morehouse College Educational
Conference 2009.
All these have an effect on the mental and emotional
state of children of color and culture.
In the beginning man was created first to care for the
world, so men must take the lead and be a part of
their children’s lives before cemeteries and prisons
have more children
in them than schools and playgrounds.

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September 28, 2016

Dads Take Your Child to School Day

Dads Take Your Child to School Day
by William Jackson, M.Edu.
Instructor with Edward Waters College
@wmjackson #MyQuestToTeach
Daddy Blogger – Community Activist – Educator
download

The Florida Department of Education initiative:
Dads Take Your Child to School Day! The Department
of Family and Community Engagement is partnering on
this initiative. This event is similar to the Million Father
March that was held on the first day of school nationally.

As part of  this initiative, fathers are asked to show their child
that they value and support their education by bringing them
to school on Wednesday, September 28th and that they
commit to being involved in their learning throughout the year.

This is a great opportunity to increase parental engagement,
especially among fathers, for the entire 2016-17 school year.
Last year, fathers, grandfathers, foster fathers, stepfathers,
uncles, cousins, big brothers, male caregivers, mentors and
family friends all showed their support for students across
the state through their participation. The excitement for
many students is continuing to blossom and the work
continues for academic growth and success. Fathers are
very important in the process of education, helping in laying
a foundation for the importance of maturing academically
and socially. Being a father requires continuous giving,
generosity, kindness, compassion, empathy, love and
dedication to another life besides their own.

Education is a life-long process that is influenced by
parental priorities and influence.

download-7

“Fathers can and do change the world one child
at a time.” William Jackson, M.Edu.

These are suggestions from a father, educator, and
community activist to encourage fathers to
participate and be engaged in the educational
process of their children from early childhood to
higher education.

1. Fathers respect your child’s teacher(s)

One way to support education is to model respect for
teachers and administrators. Fathers speak more by
their actions than words, so visit schools and praise
teachers and administrators.
2. Fathers spend time in the school
Even though it might be tough to visit schools at
least once a month it makes a world of difference
in a child’s behavior and academic success. Spending
time means sacrificing a lunch time, overtime or
buddy time. The rewards are great, just look in
your child’s eyes and see.
3. Fathers listen to teachers not talk at them
Sometimes it is more valuable to listen than to speak.
Fathers must trust teachers to tell them the truth about
their children even if the truth hurts or challenges
making changes to discipline, doing homework,
requiring tutors or not participating in sports or after
school activities. The priority of school is education.
4. Fathers discipline with Love
Many of us have humorous stories of being disciplined
when we were of youthful vigor and energy. We
understood later we were wrong in some of our actions
and choices and that discipline was done with love.
So fathers must continue to have love in their hearts
and minds and discipline fairly and with love.
5. Fathers are Role Models
Fathers are the first role models, even when we don’t
think our kids are watching, they are and other kids do
too. So our actions speak louder than words. We can’t
say “do as I say and not do as I do” because we
send the wrong messages and set our actions and
words up to be hypocritical and without meaning.
6. Fathers are Teachers
When a father teaches it is by his actions not always
by his words. The first teacher should be the child’s
parents. They establish the foundation for future success.
Even if not a great student in school fathers can teach
their children from their mistakes to help their children
to be better academically and socially.

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7. Fathers  should share meals
A great time to share is when eating together. This is a
relaxing time to joke, share, encourage, engage in fun
conversation. Sharing meals should not be serious times,
but memorable ones starting with prayer.
Communication should be two ways that encourage the
kids to ask questions too.
8. Fathers Read to their Children
When my children where toddlers until middle school
their mother and I read to them at various times  during
the day and when it was bed time. This created an
atmosphere where reading was fun. When
they were able to we allowed them to read to us. Even
though we divorced I still read to my children to keep
the consistency and fun of it. Fathers that are not strong
readers should read to their level and build as their
children build. Learning together should not be an
embarrassment it should be a cooperative effort to
show comprehension and literacy are vital.
9. Fathers Show Affection
Fathers cannot afford to be “hard” and unemotional,
this creates unstable emotional behaviors in children
that cause confusion and conflicting emotions for
stability and expression. Fathers have to model love,
proper affection, sensitivity, common sense,
compassion, tenderness. These are what children
need to learn to function in society.
10. Fathers Job is Never Done
At the time of this writing 2016 both my children
are in college, working, driving and in some
capacity they are still dependent on me. Fathering
is a lifelong responsibility even when children are
maturing into adults themselves. Fathers are the
cushions, the barriers that God has placed to make
the world less scary, less threatening and less
depressing when the challenges of life attack
our children.

Children need to know that daddy will be there
not just for money, but for encouragement, advice,
praise, love, prayers and sometimes just a silent
shoulder to listen and arms for reassuring hugs.
Fathers you must decide what kind of father you
want to be, it is a choice and personal decision.
Don’t try to be like any other father but who you
are. Don’t be fake, foolish or fraud, your children
will see right through you.
It is ok to be scared, nervous and apprehensive,
no one has all the answers, you have more life
experiences than your children so use that to
build on as a foundation of support and love.

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Resources:
“The Talk” with your kids:
http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/09/05/345891814/whats-your-take-on-nprthetalk  how to make sure your  child comes home.

 

June 6, 2016

Part 1 Celebrating Fatherhood 10 Ways To Be A Better Father

Part 1 Celebrating Fatherhood 10 Ways To Be A Better Father


Taking a few kids to the store to buy
stuff for their fathers I listen to
the kids talk about their fathers.
Easily sharing information about their
father, daddy, dad, stepdad and the
nicknames they provide.

I hear the pride in their voices as they
share true and seemingly exalted stories
of events and happenings they participated
and witnessed in their relationships with
their dad. Their smiles are wide their
eyes bright and their body actions are
animated.

As a teacher of over 20 years I have seen kids
share the accomplishments of their dads, the
struggles of dads going through unemployment,
sickness, death and incarceration. Fathers need
to understand that their actions and even
inaction has an affect on their children and
families.

There are things that every father needs to
know and should modify their behaviors when
helping to raise their children whether in the
home or not. The actions of fathers have serious
affects on their children. The relationships of
fathers and their children have life long affects
on both even if fathers refuse to admit it.


Wm Jackson and children past picture from
World of Nations #Jacksonville

A fathers words and actions carry tremendous
weight throughout the life a child and shape
the relationship behaviors of children into
adulthood. Girls need fathers to show them what
expectations to have on how  they should be treated
and respected. What they morally and ethically
should expect from boys and men as they mature
and why girls and women should have their own
and not have to depend on “a man” to give them
thinks to make them feel important.

Boys need their fathers to show how and
why to respect women, why their education
beyond sports and entertainment is
important and their responsibilities as
leaders and helpers in relationships.
Boys need fathers to show that everyone
in society will not be on their side and they
will be judged by their color, culture and
economics. Importantly how to deal with these
issues.
They will have people in society that
have negativity of them because of
color, culture, economics and education.

As a elementary teacher I see how students
behaviors and actions change with the
interactions of fathers when fathers are
involved or not. Fathers if in the military
how the whole family structure is dramatically
changed with fathers on deployment, when
fathers leave the home and divorce is threatened
or inevitable. The relationships that are
dynamically bonded by genetics and DNA.

Posting on Wednesday:
Part 2 10 Ways To Be A Better Dad
I hope are helpful to the development of young dads
that need help and guidance to be the best
dad they can be for their children and families.

#MilitaryFathers #Dads #Fathers
#FathersofColorandCulture #StepFathers #Daddy
#BlackFathers #Daddie #FamilyMan

November 27, 2013

A Thanksgiving Fathers Message


A Thanksgiving Fathers Message:
Can Your Shoulders Handle Your Title

 

 

 

This Thanksgiving fathers should make sure they re-evaluate their
relationships with their children and families. This is a time for giving
thanks and appreciation for the Blessings they have. Not how much money
they have, not what they can buy on Black Friday, but their love, devotion
and dedication to their children. This will carry their children through the
challenges life will take them through.

As I prepare to drive and pickup my son from #FAMU, my thoughts are on
my fatherly duties and responsibilities. God created fathers to be the
shoulders their children can stand on.
Maturing as a father is gained through experiences in life, mistakes made
and learned from trial and error, hard work, discipline; fathers need to
be a good support mechanism for their children.
“There is no manual on how to be a father” L. Henderson
(grandfather of three), so fathers are learning as they grow. Fathering does
not stop at planting the seed in the womb; it extends to raising the child after the
birthing process. Pastor Timothy Cole of West Friendship Bapt. in Jacksonville,
Florida has stated many times relating to fathers in the Bible that “You can’t
plant a seed and leave it alone.”

Fathers must be mindful of whose shoulders they are standing on, who
influences them both good and bad. Who in turn needs to stand on their
shoulders and is influenced by their decisions.

The collection of experiences and spiritual decisions directly influences the
chronological and parental journeys on men and being a father, maturing
as a man. No man is an island and no man is a mountain unto himself. Fathers
should not forget whose shoulders they stand on as they mature. The shoulders
of support, wisdom, guidance, discipline, love, patience and other nurturing
elements need to be a positive for fathers for their children.

As a divorced father, paying child support and accepting my responsibility to
continue to teach, mentor, guide and pray for my children, my responsibility
and that of millions of other fathers is beyond money. Even though a
professional educator I struggle at times with finances and sacrifice so my
children can have, so must “Man Up” for my children to show them by my actions
that I will not abandon them.  Money does not make nor break me, because my
faith is that strong.

 

 

 

 

My lessons of life for them are just as important as my financial responsibilities,
more fathers need to understand this.  Fathers need to see the world on a
broader scale, not just their experiences to change. As Malcolm X stated about
change and growth as a father himself, “I haven’t just changed, but see the world
on a broader scale.”
Fathers plant a seed and that seed develops and grows into a copy of them.
“You will always produce more than what you planted” Timothy Cole, Pastor.
Even though the seed grows in the womb of the mother that child will be a
genetic copy of its mother and father, but have individual variations physically,
emotionally, and even mentally.

The seeds of a male will plant others seeds, so fathers must work to have a
harvest of good children not hell raisers, vagabonds, criminals and menaces
to society.
The shoulders of a father can either support his children by elevating them,
lifting them to higher levels educationally and even spiritually. If a fathers
shoulders are strong they can set a solid foundation, even for their grandchildren,
if a fathers shoulders are weak they do not have the strength to weather
the storms of life.

An unfortunate truth in the life of children is a father’s children may suffer
because of weak shoulders of fathers, lacking knowledge, not valuing education,
embracing a spirit of rebellion, violence and even defying the Word of God. 
Each man stands on the shoulders of another man; father’s shoulders are the
foundation for a child, the underpinning of their families, homes, communities
and even religious foundations.  

In various religious doctrines the father
is the leader, the emissary between
a higher being and the family.
Fathers are the bedrock  that families need,
a true father will pray for his family,
praise his children, and participate in parenting
with his wife, partner or companion.
“A father is of service to his family and even his community.” William Jackson

Being a teacher; male teachers share their love of learning, wisdom and
is a role model, many young eyes are on him so he must be in many cases a
father figure to children not his own, these children may see him, the male
teacher as their only father figure. The responsibilities are heavy, but men
educators must rise to the calling.

Fathers have to realize who they are so they know where they can guide their
children. Honestly and Etiquette: Fathers ask your wife, partner, companion
do they trust your shoulders, occasionally look in the mirror and re-evaluate 
your shoulders to find out who you really are. Fathers your shoulders are the
foundation of stability, hope, reliability and continued growth for your children.
Be careful of what you do, where you go because if you step into darkness, chaos,
confusion, death and destruction you take the risk of carrying your children
into this as well.  

You lead by example……….
Throughout religious doctrine in writings The Qur’an and the Hadith – Islam,
The Bhagavad Gita – Hinduism, The Three Baskets (Tipitaka) – Theravada Buddhism,
The Tao-te Ching – Taoism, The Torah, Talmud and Tanakh – Jews, Old Testament &
New Testament – Christians;  fathers have a monumental responsibility for families,
communities, cultures,  societies and the world.

All fathers need to be involved in schools so children will be successful and not
struggling, all fathers need to be in churches to learn about their duties
as a father and to also learn where their help and support is. All fathers need
guidance, support and prayers to be the best they can be. This Thanksgiving
fathers look at your children and families with new eyes and stronger shoulders.
Don’t try to be perfect, but work towards being better each day..
Your shoulders are lifting generations to come..
Fathers: Can Your Shoulders Handle Your Title

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