My Quest To Teach

November 7, 2016

The Difference with Fathers and Sperm Donors

myhashtag

The Difference with Fathers and Sperm Donors
by William Jackson
Father – not sperm donor
Educator – professional
Blogger – national and international

Fathers unless you have your house in order
do not complain or ridicule your brother’s house.
The Igbo, always practical, put it concretely in
their proverb: Onye ji onye n’ani ji onwe ya: “
He who will hold another down in the mud
must stay in the mud to keep him down.”
The Education of a British-Protected Child: Essays

“Fathers, it is time to lift our children, our families,
our culture, our communities from the mud of poverty,
ignorance, death and destruction.”
William Jackson – My Quest To Teach

Fathers have a choice to be a blessing or a curse
to their children, to lead them to a life of safety and
growth or condemn them to potential death
sentences of poverty, ignorance and no societal,
economic and political voice. They (fathers) are
supposed to be the foundation, the rock that their
families can stand on during the storms of life and
the challenges that they will face. The national
deaths by violence of children, teens and young
adults by their peers are a signal that parents
are not doing their jobs and too many fathers
are not parenting, fathering, guiding and mentoring.

 


There is work to do in the community, too many
fathers are counter-productive and adding to the
troubles their communities are facing.
Fathers are influential in the social and educational
directions of their children, they set the tones for
social interaction, establishing the direction of their
children and others around them.

Fathers must teach developing social skills and
humbleness that boys and girls developing into
men and women will need. Children are modeling
their father’s insecurities, negativeness in mentality
and social actions. The father is the model whether
at home or not, looking at the communities of
color and culture too many fathers are not
involved or do not care.

Social skills are not just necessary social
requirements; they are the patterns of behaviors
for survival that boys and girls of color and culture
will need to know in order to grow in a society
that is still struggling with boys and girls of
diversity and color. The directions of life take
many twists and turns for youth especially
youth of color.

This is NOT another hate the system or hate
the government blog, nor is it a blog on what
the educational system is not accomplishing.
This blog addresses the responsibilities of
men in the village to re-evaluate and
re-prioritize their thinking and to be of service
to their communities.

2013-634999110565853021-585_resized

The Nigerian author Chinua Achebe through
his writings tries to teach men that positive
emotions to their children are beneficial and
“do not
 fear being thought weak as a man
because men show emotions, they should to
establish a connection with their families.
Men have a right that extends to the
accountability and responsibility to be involved
in their children’s educational growth and social
development. How can men attend sporting
events in support of their children, but cannot
consistently volunteer, visit, mentor, support
their children’s schools that are preparing
them for life in this nation?

Achebe shares, (fathers) “do not show any
human emotions and sentiments so as not to
be seen as weak,” are creating un-caring
societies where children are forgetting the
value of love, compassion, sympathy and
honor. Men do not have to cry to show
emotions, but should hug and kiss their children,
just as African men have done for centuries.

How many men can blame the State Attorney’s
Office and law enforcement if they won’t “man up
handling their “business” and parental responsibilities
in raising their children? Prisons are not Day
Cares, Learning Centers, Enrichment Organizations;
how many men visit their  children that are
incarcerated, how many men are proactive to teach
their children that prison is the wrong direction to go.

Fathers instead of speaking against schools need
to volunteer in them, work with teachers and
administrators to make sure all students are
successful. Learning starts at home and fathers
need to be responsible for this happening and
continuing. What father would want their child
to learn from the streets and face incarceration
or even death from the hands of their brothers?

Fathers need to be involved in a dialogue that
teaches with love and wisdom, young fathers
need help in understanding they are important in
their child’s life-long development.  An appropriate
quote from Nigeria that the late Achebe shares,
People who do not seek their fellow human beings’
help when in danger or difficulty are therefore
animalistic.”

Too many children are in need of mentors, guidance
and direction that can come from men that see children
as a future investment. Fathers cannot just be sperm
donors. Spreading their seed without being held
accountable and responsible.

father-cry-page-header

Children should be seen holding their fathers hands
and involved in activities that build critical thinking
skills, encourage problem solving abilities and
promote higher order thinking that creates language
development, increased vocabulary and appreciation
for being intelligent. “People say that if you find water
rising up to your ankle, that’s the time to do something
about it, not when it’s around your neck
.” Chinua Achebe

African American communities are finding crime and
death inching around their necks, they don’t want
police involved so should do something positive about
it to make a change in their communities.

The term “Sperm Donor” is nothing to be proud of,
it is a title of irresponsibility, immaturity, and weakness.
Because of continuous generational tragedies of
fathers running away from their responsibilities young
people of color are thereby increasing their likelihood
of entering correctional facilities, being placed in
special education class and if daddy is not there who
do kids model except who they see on the streets
and television.
To keep children of color and culture from entering
into the “pipeline” involvement is needed not reaction.
Fathers are an important part of this effort and once
again fathers need to be excited about being a father.
In the beginning man was created first so men must
step up and be a part of their children’s lives before
cemeteries and jail have more children, youth
and young adults in them than schools.

 

November 4, 2016

The Humanity of Fatherhood

The Humanity of Fatherhood
William Jackson, M.Edu
Edward Waters College
@wmjackson #MyQuestToTeach

th1

 

 

 

 

Chinua Achebe, “We cannot trample upon
the humanity of others without devaluing our
own.” The Igbo, always practical, put it
concretely in their proverb:
Onye ji onye n’ani ji onwe ya:
“He who will hold another down in the mud
must stay in the mud to keep him down.”
The Education of a British-Protected Child: Essays

“Fathers, it is time to lift our children, our families,
our culture, our communities from the mud
of poverty, death and destruction.”
William Jackson – My Quest To Teach

Watching the media and the continued deaths
of young men and young women, fathers have
a choice to be a blessing or a curse to their
children, to embed humanity into their process
of raising their families. To lead them to a life
of safety and growth or condemn them to
potential sentences of poverty, lack of
educational success and a societal voice of
silence.

Fathers are supposed to be the foundation,
the rock that their families can stand on during
the storms of life and the challenges that they
will face. The national deaths by violence of
children of color and culture are a signal that
too many fathers are not doing their jobs,
importantly too many men are not parenting,
fathering, guiding and mentoring. Too many
are talking, their lips are moving, but their feet
and hearts are standing still. There is work to
do in their communities, but too many fathers
are counterproductive and adding to the
troubles their communities are facing.

 

 

 

Fathers are influential in the social and
educational directions of their children, they set
the tones for social interaction, establishing the
direction of their children and others around
them, growing and developing the social skills
and humbleness that boys and girls developing
into men and women will need. Children are
modeling their father’s activities, mentalities,
their lack of compassion and lack of sensitivities
to their children. The father is the model whether
at home or not, looking at the communities of
color and culture too many fathers are not
involved or do not care.

Social skills are not just necessary social requirements;
they are the patterns of behaviors for survival that boys
and girls of color and culture will need to know in order
to grow in a society that is still struggling with boys and
girls of diversity and color. The directions of life take
many twists and turns for youth especially African
American youth, this is NOT another hate the system
or hate the government blog, nor is it a blog on what
the educational system is not accomplishing.

This blog addresses the responsibilities of “Men in
the Village” to re-evaluate and re-prioritize their thinking
and to be of service to their communities.
The great Nigerian author Chinua Achebe through his
writings tries to teach men that positive emotions to
their children are beneficial and “do not
fear being
thought weak as a man” because men show emotions,
they should to establish a connection with their families.

Men have a right that extends to the accountability and
responsibility to be involved in their children’s educational
growth and development. How can hundreds if not
thousands of men attend sporting events in support
of their children, but cannot consistently volunteer, visit,
mentor, support their children’s schools that are preparing
them for life in this nation?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Achebe shares, “(fathers) do not show any human emotions
and sentiments so as not to be seen as weak,” are creating
un-caring societies where children are forgetting the value
of love, compassion, sympathy and honor. Men do not have
to cry to show emotions, but should hug and kiss their children,
hold their hands and provide emotional support and
mental comfort just as African men have done for centuries.
How many men can blame the State Attorney’s Office
and law enforcement if they won’t “man up” handling
their “business” and parental responsibilities in raising
their children? Prisons are not Day Cares, Learning
Centers, Enrichment Organizations; how many men can
blame the school district if they have not started the
process of educating their children in the basics of
reading, math and social behaviors at home that allow
for education in a formal setting to start. Learning
starts at home and fathers need to be responsible
for this happening.

The streets, back alleys, street corners and clubs of
our communities will teach skills that will lead to
death or prison as seen in children today, what real
father can be proud of that?

Fathers need to be involved in a dialogue that teaches
with love and wisdom, young fathers
need help. Children should be seen holding their
fathers hands, sitting on their laps and involved in
activities that build critical thinking skills, encourage
problem solving abilities and promote higher order
thinking that creates language development, increased
vocabulary and appreciation for being intelligent.

“People say that if you find water rising up to your ankle,
that’s the time to do something about it, not when it’s
around your neck.” Chinua Achebe
African American communities are finding crime and
death inching around their necks, they should do
something positive about it to make a change in their
communities. When “not snitching” is more important
than a child’s life that was taken by a bullet is the priority
the humanity has been taken away. Human life is not
valued and is less than that of an animal.
Because of continuous generational tragedies young
people of color are thereby increasing their likelihood
of entering correctional facilities, and if daddy is not
there who do kids model except who they see on the
street or movies?

To keep children of color and culture from entering
into the “pipeline” prevention and pro-action is needed.
Fathers are an important part of this effort, fathers need
to be trained and encouraged. Ronnie Cage, community
activist and national trainer for fathers and fathering skills
has encouraged fathers need training to be fathers for
years.
Parenting is a powerful force; parents have a spiritual
connection to their children and a responsibility to raise
them. Research from the University of Maryland (2000)
indicates that, “children who have fathers or father figures
in their lives learn better, have higher self-esteem and
show fewer signs of depression and aggression.”
“…children who identified a father or father figure
scored higher on basic learning skill tests and had
a stronger sense of competence and social acceptance
compared to children without fathers”
(University of Maryland Medical News, 2000).

Fact “Black males represent six percent of the U.S.
population, yet 35 percent
of the prison population and less than two percent
of teachers” Morehouse College Educational
Conference 2009.
All these have an effect on the mental and emotional
state of children of color and culture.
In the beginning man was created first to care for the
world, so men must take the lead and be a part of
their children’s lives before cemeteries and prisons
have more children
in them than schools and playgrounds.

October 12, 2016

Social Media Sex and Daughters

Social Media Sex and Daughters
by William Jackson, M.Ed.
Parent, Educator, Speaker
Community Activist  #MyQuestToTeach

“Fathers if you fail to teach your daughters
the value of their bodies, the awesome
mental capabilities that make them smart
creatives and thought leaders, helping your
daughters to understand their personal sexuality
and seeing their value based on their talents and
abilities not sex. If you fail to teach as fathers,
you may be committing a travesty with life-long
consequences.” William Jackson

As a parent, educator and heavily involved in
Social Media I see the elements of Social Media
Sexting, mental and sexual manipulation, sexual
bullying and self-destruction. Girls and women
must understand that just because you can post
hundreds of “selfies” and “sexties” does not
mean you do so.

Telling your story through your digital content should
come with the knowledge that people will see what
you create and judge you based on the creativity and
innovation you show. This creativity should be done
with wisdom, purpose and common sense.  Parents
make dangerous mistakes by letting their children
have free reign of the Internet without behavioral
expectations and rules. The World Wide Web
can be the Wild Wild West with content that can
range free either on the extreme Left or Right.

There are communities that are represented on
platforms that allow the diversity of the human
mind create places that are comforting and at
the same time can cause the soul to shiver.
Girls especially are attracted to the chance to
“show” themselves beyond their “personalities.”
#ShirleyChisholm
“I’ am, was always will be a catalyst for change”
but that change must be positive and productive.

This blog “Social Media Sex and Daughters” shares
the value of parenting when girls are young and
impressionable, they do not understand the value
to share that they are more than their bodies. There
is more to girls than a size, color, a shape, cleavage,
or how sexy they can look. Perceptions are dangerous
in the digital age. Fathers must be sure to teach their
daughters the “tricks” of the game boys will use to get
into their daughters __________.

A father has a responsibility not to scare their daughters,
but to educate them on sex and sexuality. Mothers count,
but they are not men.  Daughters cannot afford to learn
from their friends either boys or girls to protect their
“pocketbooks” as the senior women like to reference.
What is private, is private and should be protected….

Social Media provides wonderful networking, and
communication opportunities, girls and women are
participating in coding – Black Girls Code, learning
how to use tech to be entrepreneurs while attending
conferences like Blogging While Brown, networking
in groups like Black Girls Rock, learning socialization
skills in groups like  Girls Inc, Journey Into Womanhood
Empowerment Resources (Jacksonville, Florida) and
Black Girls Book Club.

The online development of collaboration and connectivity
grows to help girls grow cognitively and raise their
self-esteems and self-respect. No longer do girls and
women say tech is just for boys and men, girls
and women are coding, creating dynamic content,
writing books, managing publishing companies. Girls
are thought leaders, and entrepreneurs, Black girls
can proudly claim their BLERD and Geek profiles.
African girls and women are growing into AfiBlerds
and AfriGeeks proudly earning degrees, they are
owning businesses like Anie Akpe, CEO/Publisher
of http://innov8tiv.com/

My Black Matters ‏@MyBlackMatters “All Black girls
matter whether they’re dark skin, light skin, brown
skin, mixed, hood, nerdy, preppy, loud, quiet or ratchet.”

Business opportunities are increasing so girls and
women should not focus on their body image they
should focus on their Brand and the Marketing aspects.
Women are networking, they are serving on boards,
in committees, forming nonprofits, and educational
initiatives.
Their Brands are worth more than gold, it is the
foundation of their existence and should always be
treated respectfully.
Girls like Jacksonville’s Taylor Richardson and
Natalie McGriff and others are inspiring other
girls to grasp hold of their dreams and grow wings
to fly beyond societal limitations and
exceed expectations no matter color and culture.

nat and taylor 2

Fathers must have those conversations about
pride, hard work, dignity, trust, ethics, morals
and values. Parents must monitor their daughter’s
online activities, not out of fear, but to preserve
reputations and the developing Brands of the
future. It must be taught that, ”sex is a
temporary physical manifestation of temporary
pleasure that if unchecked can be dangerous and
self-destructive.”

Social Media is shaping the way girls and women
are viewing themselves and interacting with
each other. “There are generations coming up
that will not know a time without being connected.
” William Jackson, Edward Waters College 2016

20160611_132716
Advertisers know this and will market “sexulization
of girls” through advertising. Talking about sex
and sexuality should be a discussion not a scare
tactic. Parents should share
the reality of pornography, it is not the sensual
event of dreams; it can be violent, degrading and
demeaning.
Girls and women will not get cultural and educational
validation by having multiple sexual partners. The
marketing aspect too look hot, be popular, risque,
sexy, vulnerable/aggressive, girls of color and
culture are not presented in positive situations
when it comes to sex like their white counterparts.

Parents of all colors and culture start early and
have conversations so girls feel comfortable,
confident in who they are and where
they are going in life. Parents talk to your daughters
as they mature, have honest and tough discussions.
Before any girl or young woman gets into bed with
anyone, even in alternative lifestyle’s they need
to get into that persons head first to make sure
they are not making a mistake that will curse them
through adult life.
A girl’s reputation can be destroyed with a single
video, a single picture posted online and even a flash
of experimentation. Put your value ahead of being
popular, being seen as sexy and been just seen as
who you are and what your aspiring to be.

Girls are growing into not just Black Girl Magic or
Women Magic, but Awesome Women of Magic.

girl-magic
Black Girl Magic and Women Magic Resources:
Jalesa Ann @jalesaann
Anie Akpe @AnieAkpe
Fran Siracusa @ProfeEdTech
Melanin Mamis @melaninmamis
#EduMatch @edu_match
Michelle @Michell49246814
Ashley Hill @prepforcollege
#EdWalk 4 CFE @zansari8
Black Girl Nerds @BlackGirlNerds
Black Girls Book Club @bg_bookclub
Bess Auer @Bess_Auer
Sarah Thomas @sarahdateechur
Rusul الربيعي @RusulAlrubail
Barbara KV Johnson @DrBKVJ
Rachel Vitti @rachelvitti
Tara Reed @TaraReed_
Jennifer Williams @JenWilliamsEdu
Black Girl Nerds @BlackGirlNerds
Valerie Lewis @iamvlewis
Jedidah Isler, PhD @JedidahIslerPhD
Gina Humber @ghumber720
Melissa Ross @MelissainJax
Ale’ta Turner @AletaTurner
Sherry Smith Gray @sherisaid
Soumya @SoumyaNukala
Deena Pierott @deenapierott
SocaMom® @SocaMomDC
Empowerment Resources @EmpowermentJax
Ronique Gibson @stagetecture
Coach Jeanna Brown @CoachJeanna
Hey Black Girl @Hey_BlackGirl
PASSION4CHRIST @p4cToyaG
Mickee Brown @MickeeBrown
Black Bloggers Connect @JoinBBC
My Black Matters ‏@MyBlackMatters
Danyelle Little @TheCubicleChick
Asktnd @asktnd
FLBlogCon @FLBlogCon
Ivy Box™ @MsIvyBox
Blogging Black Miami @blogblackmiami
Brown Girls Unite @BGU_Official
Tracee Ellis Ross @TraceeEllisRoss
Marcie Hill @Marcie_Hill
Sheena White @sheenamwhite
Sea World Mommy @SeaWorldMommy
Sili @MyMamihood
Blogger Week @BloggerWeek
African Women In Tech @AfricanWIT

dad and shae
My daughter and I years ago in Palatka, Florida

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