The Difference with Fathers and Sperm Donors
by William Jackson
Father – not sperm donor
Educator – professional
Blogger – national and international
Fathers unless you have your house in order
do not complain or ridicule your brother’s house.
The Igbo, always practical, put it concretely in
their proverb: Onye ji onye n’ani ji onwe ya: “
He who will hold another down in the mud
must stay in the mud to keep him down.”
“The Education of a British-Protected Child: Essays”
“Fathers, it is time to lift our children, our families,
our culture, our communities from the mud of poverty,
ignorance, death and destruction.”
William Jackson – My Quest To Teach
Fathers have a choice to be a blessing or a curse
to their children, to lead them to a life of safety and
growth or condemn them to potential death
sentences of poverty, ignorance and no societal,
economic and political voice. They (fathers) are
supposed to be the foundation, the rock that their
families can stand on during the storms of life and
the challenges that they will face. The national
deaths by violence of children, teens and young
adults by their peers are a signal that parents
are not doing their jobs and too many fathers
are not parenting, fathering, guiding and mentoring.
There is work to do in the community, too many
fathers are counter-productive and adding to the
troubles their communities are facing.
Fathers are influential in the social and educational
directions of their children, they set the tones for
social interaction, establishing the direction of their
children and others around them.
Fathers must teach developing social skills and
humbleness that boys and girls developing into
men and women will need. Children are modeling
their father’s insecurities, negativeness in mentality
and social actions. The father is the model whether
at home or not, looking at the communities of
color and culture too many fathers are not
involved or do not care.
Social skills are not just necessary social
requirements; they are the patterns of behaviors
for survival that boys and girls of color and culture
will need to know in order to grow in a society
that is still struggling with boys and girls of
diversity and color. The directions of life take
many twists and turns for youth especially
youth of color.
This is NOT another hate the system or hate
the government blog, nor is it a blog on what
the educational system is not accomplishing.
This blog addresses the responsibilities of
“men in the village” to re-evaluate and
re-prioritize their thinking and to be of service
to their communities.
The Nigerian author Chinua Achebe through
his writings tries to teach men that positive
emotions to their children are beneficial and
“do not fear being thought weak as a man”
because men show emotions, they should to
establish a connection with their families.
Men have a right that extends to the
accountability and responsibility to be involved
in their children’s educational growth and social
development. How can men attend sporting
events in support of their children, but cannot
consistently volunteer, visit, mentor, support
their children’s schools that are preparing
them for life in this nation?
Achebe shares, (fathers) “do not show any
human emotions and sentiments so as not to
be seen as weak,” are creating un-caring
societies where children are forgetting the
value of love, compassion, sympathy and
honor. Men do not have to cry to show
emotions, but should hug and kiss their children,
just as African men have done for centuries.
How many men can blame the State Attorney’s
Office and law enforcement if they won’t “man up”
handling their “business” and parental responsibilities
in raising their children? Prisons are not Day
Cares, Learning Centers, Enrichment Organizations;
how many men visit their children that are
incarcerated, how many men are proactive to teach
their children that prison is the wrong direction to go.
Fathers instead of speaking against schools need
to volunteer in them, work with teachers and
administrators to make sure all students are
successful. Learning starts at home and fathers
need to be responsible for this happening and
continuing. What father would want their child
to learn from the streets and face incarceration
or even death from the hands of their brothers?
Fathers need to be involved in a dialogue that
teaches with love and wisdom, young fathers
need help in understanding they are important in
their child’s life-long development. An appropriate
quote from Nigeria that the late Achebe shares,
“People who do not seek their fellow human beings’
help when in danger or difficulty are therefore
Too many children are in need of mentors, guidance
and direction that can come from men that see children
as a future investment. Fathers cannot just be sperm
donors. Spreading their seed without being held
accountable and responsible.
Children should be seen holding their fathers hands
and involved in activities that build critical thinking
skills, encourage problem solving abilities and
promote higher order thinking that creates language
development, increased vocabulary and appreciation
for being intelligent. “People say that if you find water
rising up to your ankle, that’s the time to do something
about it, not when it’s around your neck.” Chinua Achebe
African American communities are finding crime and
death inching around their necks, they don’t want
police involved so should do something positive about
it to make a change in their communities.
The term “Sperm Donor” is nothing to be proud of,
it is a title of irresponsibility, immaturity, and weakness.
Because of continuous generational tragedies of
fathers running away from their responsibilities young
people of color are thereby increasing their likelihood
of entering correctional facilities, being placed in
special education class and if daddy is not there who
do kids model except who they see on the streets
To keep children of color and culture from entering
into the “pipeline” involvement is needed not reaction.
Fathers are an important part of this effort and once
again fathers need to be excited about being a father.
In the beginning man was created first so men must
step up and be a part of their children’s lives before
cemeteries and jail have more children, youth
and young adults in them than schools.