My Quest To Teach

September 7, 2016

The Alphabet of Fatherhood Can Be Awesome


The Alphabet of Fatherhood Can Be Awesome
by William Jackson, M. Ed.
Parent, Educator, Blogger,
Speaker, Community Activist
@wmjackson Edward Waters College

A Fathers Role

A Fathers Role

Suggestions for new dads and dads that need to
be re-energized to their responsibility as fathers.

Fathers need to take advantage of community
resources for several reasons: children need to
be exposed to diverse learning opportunities
like libraries, museums and cultural events.
The language engagement between fathers and
children is important, it helps build vocabulary
and encourages questioning and
increases observation.

Children need to feel comfortable asking their
parents questions, their opinions to understand
they have value and their curiosity is encouraged.
Mothers are not the only ones that build a bond
with children, a fathers bond is just as important
and significant. Fathers should never doubt they
are important and valuable. Never allow anyone
to demean your importance and significance in
your child’s life. You are part of the creative
process for life.

A. Fact – fathers spend about 45% playing
while moms only spend 15-20%.
B. Dads should help in getting the kids
ready for the day. Create a unique routine
that kids look forward to. This will make
getting ready less stressful.

C. Dads should learn about their child’s
development so they better understand
when to “teach” certain skills. Playing
catch, tying shoes and other things are a
process that is taught according to the
developmentally able child. Children learn
differently so don’t compare your kid to
others even their siblings.
D. Fathers should have time to read to
their children. Dads can make a special
language and storytelling trip for their
children. A dad’s voice is security and
comfort to the child.

E. Dads should make special trips to book
stories, libraries and museums. Make
learning unique and fun. Dads can plan
field trips during the weekends and
holidays.
F. Dads need to know their children’s
interests as they mature. Learning as
much as possible about their children
and not allowing mom’s to do and
know everything. Brake the mindset
that dads are less important.

G. Dads should know what foods their
kids like. Take them to the store and
shop with them. Make sure they
communicate with you about their
likes and dislikes. Their “tastes” will
change as they age and mature.
H. Dads need to be familiar with their
children’s sleep patterns. Give mom
a break and help to keep sleep time,
nap time consistent.

I. Dads need to spend time with their
newborns. A dads smell, voice and
hugs need to be comforting to newborns.
J. Dads need to understand that the first
months of a newborns life are key to
bonding with their parents. Dads should
plan ahead to take paternity leave if
possible, use vacation time or other
options to stay home and help mom
and child adjust to the new world.

K. Dads need to learn their child’s
behaviors and their developing personality.
What activities make the newborn, toddler
or growing child laugh, happy, sad, scared,
excited, etc.
L. Dads need to be a part of the educational
and developmental process of their children.
Mothers have careers and fathers need to
respect the fact that mom’s love their children,
but may want to continue their careers.

M. When the child is school aged dads need
to be there every step of the way. Teachers,
administrators, and other school personnel need
to know that children have two parents even if they
are not in the same home.
N. Children need to see their parents working, they
need to see their parents communicating and being
active. Too many times parents “hide” their emotions
which causes confusion in children.

O. Dads and moms need to monitor television
watching. There are so many suggestions and innuendos
that will cause confusion and doubt in girls and boys
about their bodies, culture, skin care, height, weight
and other physical attributes. Parents are the first line
of knowledge that builds self-esteem and self-respect.
P. A fathers words can bring life and death to their
children.
Fathers should be careful what they say to their children
and how they say it, even how they talk about their mother
and other family members

Q. Fathers should be listeners first and fixers second.
Fathers are instinctively fixers of problems for their
children and families.
The important part is fathers should listen first to get
all the information needed and involve their children
in the fixing process. Fathers take the opportunity to
include their children if old enough to fix any problems
that are teachable moments.
R. Dads should not be scared to “play” with their children.
When the opportunity comes play is beneficial, it can
build confidence, trust, love, respect and solidify a
relationship.

S. “Know Thy Self” dads should know their maturity,
their strengths and weaknesses. Understand what
drives you and moves you. “Before you start raising
children look at your foundation.”
Nishan Nicks (Fresh World Ministries)
T. Communication is important between parents,
moms and dads need to be open and honest when
talking about parental responsibilities. They both must
understand that their children are living and growing
human beings and will develop their own personality.
They will not stay the same forever and time
does fly by when you have children.

U. Fathers take care of your bodies, your minds
and your spirit. You are responsible for more
than yourself. Visit the doctors regularly and
change your eating habits and late night activities.
V. Fathers plan for the future. Plan for your
retirement, your kid’s educational future, the growth
of the family.
Take into account a potential career change for
yourself. Money is not the only cause for a job or
career change. Support your spouses or partners
desire to improve their education and career as well.

W. Plan vacations that are active and engaging.
Be sure to plan how to pack and if the destinations
are kid friendly. Plan to make sure the trip is beneficial
for your kids and the family not just you.
X. Treat your spouse or partner to some personal time.
Allow them to grow outside of parenthood to refresh
their spirit and mind.

Y. Don’t forget the grandparents in visits and trips, they
can be a partnership also.
Z. Be a parent, not a buddy. As your child grows so
will you and you must modify your parenting discipline,
language, expectations. There are no “perfect” parents.
You will make mistakes. Just do your best and learn
as you go.

Resources:
The Father Effect @thefathereffect

GetConnectDAD @GetConnectDad

Dad 2.0 Summit @dad2summit

Daddydaddydaddy @daddydaddydadus

Melanin Bloggers @MelaninBloggers

Roland Martin and T.D. Jakes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEXpdvR1Dqw

Dad Summit https://twitter.com/dad2summit

Born Learning http://BornLearning.org

The role of being a father with Roland Martin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTdmfBeWlKU

Change the Discussion on Black Fathers
http://www.quirkybrownlove.com/2015/05/change-discussion-on-black-fathers.html

Summit Schedule for Dads 2.0 Conference
http://www.dad2summit.com/schedule2017/

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