My Quest To Teach

June 16, 2016

A Spiritual Guide for Fathers Raising Children Part II


A Spiritual Guide for Fathers Raising Children Part II

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In the spirit of fatherhood, unity and solidarity for parenting,
suggestions  for fathers to be better fathers.

1. Fathers, as children grow they become less dependent
on parents, starting to make decisions for themselves,
men/fathers must stay active as models and advisors.
Often just listening and being patient providing support
and encouragement is what children need as they mature.

2. Fathers, during adolescence and teen years there is a
minimal tendency to ask parents for their opinions, it is
important to ask questions and openly communicate
not criticize. Fathers are prone to be impatient, learn
to wait and guide talks not force them.

3. Fathers, be direct with your decisions and be Fair,
a “No” means “No”. You send conflicting signals when
you change your mind and don’t backup your words
with loving and consistent direction and decisions.

4. Fathers , teens speak in different languages,
don’t be surprised to hear, “Everyone else is doing it”
or “There parents are cool” or “I wish you were like
such and such parents”. Fathers should not be angry
with their children, remember they just want their
way just like we did at their age or still do now.
Learn your children’s language so you can
communicate better.

5. Fathers, parents must stand united. Not trying
to be your children’s friend. Don’t let your child
pit you and your spouse or girl-friend, partner
against each other.
Always be in accord with your children’s decisions.
It is harder for step-parents and those not married,
both need to work hard to keep peace and unity.
Communication is important, it is not about
winning, it is about solidarity and
what is best for the children.

6. Fathers, don’t argue with your children. You
are the parent, the adult, not their equal or
their peer. Remember who is in accountable.
Fathers must at times be firm and unmovable
in their decisions, but show love and wisdom
in their decisions.

7. Fathers, try to initiate a discussion and not
interrogate, use opportunities to talk about
everyday things, how was their school day,
how are their friends, what has
been on their minds. Being proactive is better
than reactive.

8. Fathers should be positive, think positive
and reinforce good behavior and always be in
prayer. Setting realistic and positive expectations
for their children and helping them to make
good decisions.

9. Fathers, remember we all make mistakes.
Children learn by their experiences and
mistakes. Fathers at times need to “tell stories”
to relate information.
Bill Cosby was very effective in doing this.
Men can guide and make suggestions
or provide solutions through stories. Jesus
used parables and our elders
told stories that share ideas and explain relationships.

10. Fathers should not be scared to admit
they make mistakes and apologize for them.
If you want your sons to “man up” you need
to “man up” too.

11. Mothers sometimes need to back off if they
want the father to be consistent.
Remember a nagging woman can kill a spirit
and create dissension in the spirit
of the man and their sons. Nothing spoils trust
faster than embarrassing or going
against a fathers decisions or criticizing the
father in front of the children.

12. Fathers should Pray and not Faint. Have a
mentor that is in-line with God’s Word.
Your mentor does not have to agree with you
all the time, they should be honest all the time.

13. Fathers, attend Church, Bible Study, Prayer
Breakfasts, etc. as a family or
with dad. There are many churches that invite
dads and their children. Fathers
take advantage of this and get involved.

14. Fathers,, have family time at least once a week.

15. Mothers need to pray for their children’s
father even if they are not in the home.
A praying mother is powerful and purposeful
in strengthening her family and
creating calm and peace. A woman that has
a serpents tongue creates chaos,
confusion and division. .

16. Fathers be patient and discipline with
love not anger. Remember how you
were at your children’s and guide your
discipline with peaceful wisdom,
.calm demeanor and a listening ear.

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William Jackson, M.Ed. can be reached at the
following email address:
William.Jackson@ewc.edu     on Twitter @wmjackson

Fatherhood Inspirational Video via @wmjackson #MyQuestToTeach
https://youtu.be/goWvUjFnBBI

GetConnectedDad online resources
@GetConnectDad

Great resource for fathers online
https://getconnectdad.com/2016/06/04/52-traits-we-want-in-our-kids-2/

National Fatherhood Initiative
http://facebook.com/nationalfatherhoodiniative
Twitter @thefatherfactor

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