My Quest To Teach

February 25, 2015

What Selma Taught Me About Being A Father



What Selma Taught Me About Being A Father

Reflections of a time not too long ago and the dangers of it returning
in a new century generate fear and a mission not to allow racism to
destroy what was achieved. If African Americans particularly men do
not want history to repeat itself then the only way to accomplish this
is for fathers to be proactive in teaching their sons and daughters the
value of education, the value of accepting who they are, the importance
of graduating with a high school diploma, not a certificate of completion.
The importance of attending and graduating from a college, trade
school, obtaining vocational education skills or a military career.
Too many men are not doing their jobs, fathers have a responsibility
to prepare each generation for the responsibilities of community and
societal activism, the ability for each generation of boys, teens, young
men and adult men to be providers for their children not just
sperm donors.
Men who are capable should be working in order to provide for their
children and not selling their children into slavery; the slavery of EBT
cards, the slavery of welfare and public assistance and the slavery of
a criminal justice system where privatization of prisons only increases
the demand for an uneducated, under skilled, mentally brainwashed
and indoctrinated mind to underachievement and under skilled from
society that is brainwashed with music, drugs, mental deterioration
that African Americans cannot succeed and only belong in their hoods
or incarcerated.

Boys need mentors, role models and fathers or surrogate fathers.
Men can teach a boy or teen how to be a proper man. Women can guide,
nurture, and set high expectations, but women are not men so cannot
effectively build the foundation to help boys grow into men. Societal
issues are challenges, but men need to “man up” and be fathers, role
models and providers for their homes, their communities and their
places of worship. Blame cannot be placed on whites any longer when
parents do not prioritize education or community unity.

Society has challenges that are unique to the Blackman, viewing Selma
the visions of disrespect, denial of societal and constitutional rights have
always plagued men of color. The killing of unarmed Black men have been
consistently happening for decades. Black men do have a target on their
backs, their heads, their hearts and is seems their souls.
Selma shows the importance of voting rights, the importance of having more
Black attorneys, judges, prosecutors and more law enforcement officers that
are educated and have a passion for honesty and truth and building trust
not fear.
Selma has many lessons that must be shared to make each generation better
not feared and endangered of extermination.

The lessons of Selma must be taught by fathers must include wisdom:
1. Fathers talk to your children openly and honestly, develop a mutual level
of trust and respect. Build on the love of a father not the fear of humiliation
and physical aggression.
2. Fathers listen to your children when they talk to you. Refrain from giving
advice every time, guide the discussion so they can form decisions for themselves
and problem-solve using critical thinking skills and common sense.
3. Fathers talk to your children about the importance of love, affection, devotion,
trust and treating people with respect. The danger of teaching a child to be “hard”
because they lose compassion for each other and their culture.
4. Fathers talk to your children about their values and by what foundation it is
built on; church, family, a work ethic and importance of education.
5. Fathers ask your children about what they think about community issues and
watch the news together and share experiences. Listen to your children and learn
to respect them and appreciate their needs.
6. Fathers learn your child’s language. Preteens and teens speak using various
terms and abbreviations. Learn what they are so you can better communicate on
their level sometimes. Don’t just talk about sex, have discussion on drugs, alcohol
(alcohol contributes to changes in behaviors and decisions), smoking and peer
pressure. One survey showed that almost 1 out of 4 teens that had sex say they
used drugs or drank alcohol.
7. Fathers teens who use drugs are five times more likely to have had sexual
intercourse that is unprotected. (http://www.4parents.gov/sexrisky/index.html)
8. Fathers tell your child that you love them and when you do use eye contact,
give them a hug or pat on the back.
9. Fathers give your child a pat on the back or a high five when talking or just
playing around.
10. Fathers show unconditional love when you tell your child that you love them.
Don’t use the words “when you” or “each time” or “if you”. Let them know you
love them all the time.
11. Fathers take your child out on dates to spend quality time with them.
12. Fathers make it a priority to visit your child’s school to view their work and
talk to teachers.
13. Fathers learn the three levels your child receives information through
communication: Auditory – hearing; some children need to hear “I Love You”
Tactile – touching; some children need a hug or a pat on the shoulder.
Visual – seeing; some children need to see your expressions, hand movements
and body gestures.
15. Fathers create family time; it just does not have to be dinner time.
16. Fathers remember children make mistakes so be patient when teaching.
All children do not learn the same and don’t compare children.
17. Fathers don’t try to be cool or hip or down. Just be yourself.
18. Fathers don’t argue with your children; you are the parent, the adult,
not their equal or their peer or their friend.
19. Fathers Go to church and talk about their spirituality and beliefs.
20. Fathers remember the apple does not fall far from the tree. Your
children are a biological copy of you and their mother. You will see your
good and bad traits in your children.

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3 Comments

  1. Lovely article and so true..right now the Man is needed to stand up and take his rightful place as leader, protector, shepherd and father to his children, protégés especially to his sons who lack positive real models of the spirit of the men they cud be. This is echoed all over the world I believe and in my Kenya. The throne has been abdicated and abandoned..until..

    Like

    Comment by @TheMumBi — February 26, 2015 @ 1:46 am

    • Hello my brother,
      Nice to see replies from mother Africa.
      If your blogging also send me your link so I can follow you.
      Peace…….

      Like

      Comment by William Jackson — July 29, 2015 @ 1:50 am


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