My Quest To Teach

November 29, 2010

Fathers Build Stronger Families This Holiday Season

Filed under: Uncategorized — William Jackson @ 3:22 am

Fathers Build Stronger Families This Holiday Season

The building of a family is more than conception of a child.

Being a father is a challenging, complicated
process or so some aspects of the media and those
who are irresponsible would lead other men to believe.
Fatherhood is a magical experience,
a journey into adulthood and should be treasured and enjoyed,
it should also be taken seriously. There is more to making a
baby than just a sexual act.
Responsibility, sacrifice, ownership, maturity, and prayer
come with the accountability of raising a child.

”When one has not had a good father, one must create one”
Friedrich Nietzsche

Sex and Conception
Sexual relationships of the body should not be justified to
just having a good time. That good time results in being
responsible for a life for the rest of your and the child’s life.
Parenting should not be considered as something that can
be turned on and off at a whim. Being a man/father
includes making decisions not just for oneself, but
for others that are given life; a child formed
during conception. The process of sex is a union
of man and woman, but more young men
and women view it as just a good time.
There is a psychological and physiological bonding
that results.
There is a emotional change that many young people
are not even aware of and not mature enough to handle.
Through the course of sexual interaction a child is conceived,
yes it is the man’s and woman’s responsibility to care
for the child, to provide wisdom, nurturing, morals
and values so that baby can develop into an asset
for humanity not an assault on the world.
Parents should understand children
did not ask to be brought into this world, but
if the sex is consensual both parents are responsible
for raising the child.

”My father? I never knew him. Never even seen a picture
of him”  Eminem

The Holidays
The holidays are a time for family, friends, and fellowship;
to give thanks for health, life and happiness. Society has
marketed the holidays to the  point of demonizing the so
called holidays to one of having more in material things
than emotional stability and love. Tangible or intangible
material items are not as precious as life itself. Life will
last longer and is more valuable than any flat screen
television, game system, smart phone, or other electronic
device. What are we teaching children when we place
value on love with value on material items?
It seems so strange that Christmas items are out even
before Thanksgiving is even present. The holidays are a
count down to Black Friday’s, shopping days, sales, rebates,
two for ones and so many other ploys to encourage people
to buy, buy and buy more. 

Holidays: Fathers
This holiday fathers, men, stepfathers, grandfathers
should focus on the spirit of the holidays, mothers,
stepmothers, grandmothers should build up their
man especially if married to them, to encourage
not the monetary value, but the family value of
the holiday season. Building up the importance
of familyunity and love. Fathers do not allow the
media to demonize the holiday’s, do not allow
your television programming to determine that
the more “stuff” you buy this holiday will
determine how happy your children will
be with you.
What are we teaching another generation with material
items that will break, and devalue as it ages and is used.
Love can never be devalued;
love can never diminish in importance. Fathers need
to teach their families through
prayer, togetherness, unity, love and a strong spirit of
faith that there will be times when all we have is family
and love.

In John, Chapter 4:24 God is a spirit, we must worship
in spirit and truth.Maybe this lack of demonstrating open
prayer and praise outside of the church is one of the causes
many of our young men are going astray in a world of
violence and sin. Men should let spiritual energies equal
emotional energies in our love for our children and families.
How much enriched and stronger would our lives be as
fathers and men if our prayer life was as strong as our
enthusiasm for our sports teams this holiday season?  
We can; “seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his
righteousness; and all these things shall be added
unto you.” How much of a difference would it make if
our children did pray as their fathers should pray for
guidance and wisdom?

Changing World
The world is changing daily, as in Revelation Chapter 1:3
“Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words
of prophecy, and keep those things which are written
therein: for the time is at hand”. The time is at hand
when children are killing children; when girls are having
babies at 13, 14, and 15.When boys think it is cool to
impregnate as many girls as possible, but not taking
responsibility for their results. Too many girls now think
it is cool to have a baby out of wedlock.
They not only think it is cool, but encourage other girls
to have children because they in some cases get “a check”.
What happens when the check stops, how will they
support themselves and their children? Have we reduced
the value of children to a “check” mentality/reality?
This will result in a “check” of generational women and
children, looking for someone to “give” them something
for spreading their legs. Have we demonized our girls too
being sexual toys? As a father of a 14 year old daughter
I pray that my teachings to my daughter have value.
I pray that her mother supports my efforts to teach our
daughter that she is more than a booty call, a future
poll swinger or back dancer in someone’s music video.

Impact on Education
I see to many young mothers that enroll their
children in elementary school and the child has
no humanity.
They have no, as my grandmother use to say,
no home training.
To many of our youth in elementary schools cannot read,
cannot count, do not know their colors, do not know their
real names. What are these young mothers and fathers
bringing into this world each generation?
As the saying goes we will reap what we sow….

Responsibility in Children
Fathers, Step-fathers and Grandfathers must realize
the responsibility of their place in a child’s life regardless
if they are in the same home or not, regardless
of “Baby Mama Drama” that sometimes happens.
Grandmothers give drama to, this is not exclusive to
mothers. Many grandmothers are not too much older
than their daughters. As I have said before it is cowardice
for fathers to make excuses for not calling, texting, writing
and visiting just to say “I love you” and “How are
you doing.” It is inexcusable for not taking time to eat lunch
with your child at school, or visit them at their school to
talk to their teachers. Men should not take the time and
make more babies that are the emotional equivalent to a
bowel movement; women should not allow themselves to
be manipulated into spreading their legs for a man who
does not value them and equates them as going to the
bathroom in them and on them.
Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and
rewards than being a father to my children.
Bill Cosby

Fatherhood is a balance of prayer, discipline, sacrifice,
love, negotiation, trust and communication. It does not
come easy as I can testify being a divorced parent,
a son 18 now in college and daughter 14 in high school.
Mothers should not turn their children against their
fathers if they are paying child support or not. Some
men are lousy husbands, but great fathers. Some men
just need to learn how to be fathers.  
In the end all parties pay dearly by the future actions
of the child and by the judgment of God. Parents one
way or another are held accountable for their children.
Child support is not just the monetary aspects,
but the responsibility to be there in good times and
bad, to sacrifice party time with the boys or girls
with reading time and math time with your children.
How can young women today dress up, smell good,
look good and claim to be sexy, but they are not
teaching their children how to read and write.
How can fathers allow their children
to not know who they are and treat them like a stranger,
but want the child to have their names?

Fathers this holiday season (Thanksgiving, Christmas
and New Years) make the time to spend quality time
with your children. Not to buy anything, not to bribe
for love, not to compete with their mother, not to run
a scam.. Just show love, to build on a relationship that
is truthful and trustworthy. Do not allow the media
to “run” your homes, by implanting the idea that your
family would be happier with a XBOX, WII, PS3 or
gaming system, smart phone or electronic device.

The best way to build family love and unity
is to consistently practice honest and loving
communication and family time.
The more we try to buy our children’s love the faster we
are setting ourselves up for a dangerous course of action.
We will be teaching our children that love comes in a box,
or a bag and runs by electricity or rechargeable batteries.
What happens if the power fails and the battery dies;
where do we go from there?

William Jackson, M.Ed.
Vice President E3 Business Group North Florida Chapter
“Educate, Encourage, Empower”
E3 North Florida Chapter –
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